Containment. It’s a focus of organization and tidying efforts, the purpose of books and journals, homes, and wombs. We value independence and often part of what gets us there is being held and supported. It is space to learn and develop the skills we need before venturing out. It is also a place to return to when we need to rest and recoup.

Schools don’t often hold us in the way we need, for adulting skills, homeownership, life challenges. This is part of what we can create in a coaching relationship. It is a unique sandbox to explore real desires, values, and implementation of new ideas. We can have fun in the playground of exploring using your voice in the real world in a fulfilling way.

I grew up inheriting perfectionism from my family; this makes trying new things quite anxiety inducing. Youtube instructions are helpful, but it’s not the same as having Dad there when I attempt a home repair. The “what ifs” of doing it wrong, water spewing everywhere!! might be minimal chance, but a high cost to deal with. Presence and handholding can make all the difference.

One tool I’ve been learning is to embrace, “I’m trying a hard thing, it’s ok for it to feel hard.” This permission to feel the challenge takes some work. Being a good student in school, I learned things “should be easy.” If they weren’t, it meant somehow that I was defective and shameful, not simply “new at it”.

I also break things into steps. Some steps are scarier than others. If I can at least tackle some of the easy steps, I can get started, instead of the fear paralyzing me. Once I’m started, sometimes I feel the courage to try “a little bit more” and make a lot more progress!

How have you tackled scary new challenges? What did you find helpful?